It takes 15 seconds, and it tells you exactly where you stand

Most one-on-ones are status updates with a calendar invite. You walk through the list, your manager nods, and you leave knowing exactly what you knew when you walked in, which is nothing about where you stand. That gap costs more than it should. McKinsey and LeanIn's Women in the Workplace 2025 found that for every 100 men promoted to manager, 93 women are, and 74 women of color. The same report found that 80% of women want a promotion versus 86% of men, and that the gap disappears with equal support. Support starts with information, and information starts with one question: "When my name comes up, what do people say?"

The test

Answer yes or no, thinking about your last four one-on-ones. Nobody is grading this but you, which is the point.

1. You know what your manager is being measured on this quarter.

2. In the last month, you asked a question about your standing, not just your work.

3. You know which of your projects your manager mentions to her own boss.

4. You have heard your manager describe your next role out loud.

5. You know the one thing your manager would change about how you operate.

6. You set at least part of the agenda.

7. The last time you shared a win, you said what it was worth, not just that it happened.

8. You know the date of the next talent review or calibration session.

9. In the last quarter, you have asked, "When my name comes up, what do people say?"

10. You left your last one-on-one knowing something you did not know going in.

How to read your score

Eight to ten: informed. Your one-on-ones are doing what they are for. You are using them to gather intelligence, not just report it, and your manager knows what you want and when.

Four to seven: reporting. This is the common score, and it is fixable. You are doing good work and describing it accurately, and your manager is hearing updates where she could be hearing a case.

Zero to three: flying blind. Not a character flaw. Nobody taught you that a one-on-one is a negotiation over attention, and your manager has not volunteered the information, because managers rarely do.

What to do next

Eight to ten: ask the question anyway, this week, and listen for what has changed since the last time. Standing moves, and it moves quietly.

Four to seven: before your next one-on-one, cut the status list in half and spend the time you saved on one question about the future. The status list can go in an email, and your manager will be relieved when it does.

Zero to three: open your next one-on-one with the question. Fifteen seconds. Then stop talking. Whatever your manager says, including the pause before she answers, is the answer. A quick, specific reply means people are talking about you, and you now know what they are saying. A long pause means they are not yet, and you now know that too, a year earlier than the review would have told you.

Count your yeses, and send this to the woman who runs the best one-on-ones you know.